Sex I.D.

Alex just sent me this today and we both took it: a test that determines "where you fall in the male-female continuum." It's short and simple: it requires tasks that are usually performed better by either men or women, depending on the task, and then scores your cummulative performance to determine whether you "think like a man" or "think like a woman". Kind of cool. Alex (surprisingly?) ended up on the "female" end of the spectrum with a score of Female 20. I got a big fat zero. Dead in the center. My supreme balance is extraordinary, really.

--JB

Juanonymous Bozzundercover

YES, IT WAS ME!!!!!!!!

Juan

WON´T MAKE IT!!!!

Hello, I figured I´d let you guys know that THIS TIME I won´t make it to the big family reunion at 603. I´ve been reading and everybody has confirmed their asistance but me. So please excuse me for not showing up this time. We´ll catch up next time.
By the way, I would apreciate a brief comment on "danger Dog", as far as I knew it was the nicest, sweetest, adorable and lovable dog and that description doesn´t quite match the name.

that´s all so far. I Don´t need to tell you I love you guys, do I?

PS: Please, whatever you do, don´t (and I mean DON´T) listen to the entire KEANE cd. Unless you are looking for a very good excuse for going to JB´s hood and vomit a LOT!!!!

603 Beech St. up for grabs

Beechstreeters,

Just when the world starts to find out about the inner workings, history and secrets of 603 Beech St., the house is going up for sale. Yep. This week, maybe. Just talked to the realtor and we're setting it up this wednesday. The red hot Oberlin housing market is in the middle of a boom, bubble, nuclear explosion (that is, the house might sell in 2008 or beyond), so, it might be clever to reassemble the extended family for one last hurrah before DC sucks us all in. Besides, I don't have enough pictures of all of you sitting around the counter/table/kitchen, just 248,999. It's time we take the Ultimate Kitchen Picture and stop the "Why were you making that face??", 'What's WRONG with you??" and ''Why's the jar of Tang in the middle??'' comments that apply to the last 248,999 pics. So, you're all invited. Mom cooks. Memorial Day?

Love
DAD

Music to My Ears

This is definitely a story that if I were to tell you each privately you would each chuckle, but when I tell you all at once you guys act all grossed out like I don't know how to censor myself. Whatever. You love it.

I think this is hilarious:
It gets a little hot in the upstairs of our house, so when it's cool out we sleep with one of the windows open, which we did last night. At 5am both Alex and I woke up to what sounded like violent vomiting outside of our window (in the alley behind our house). It wasn't letting up so Alex finally got up and looked out the window. Then he quietly turned around and came back to bed. I asked, "What is that?" And he replied sleepily, "It's a guy walking and vomiting and his friend walking next to him pushing a lawn mower." "Oh," I replied. And we both fell asleep. 5am.

I thought that was funny but then later on that day (today) Alex says to me, "So, I don't know if I told you the whole story about what I saw this morning." I became curious to know what more had happend, "Oh?" "Yeah, so, it was this guy walking and vomiting with his friend walking next to him pushing a lawn mower!"
Nice.

--JB

An Evening with Jon Stewart

I saw Jon Stewart’s stand-up show this past weekend in Columbus. He was terrific. The enthusiasm in the Palace was intense and genuine. He’s in an interesting position, isn’t he? He’s got a strong following. And unlike other non-conservatives, like Michael Moore, who seems to capture our anger and thirst for scandal more than anything else, Stewart has an amazing ability to retain a casual sense of logic. His new motto: be reasonable! It’s funny how conservatives seem threatened by him and how liberals latch on to him like the messiah. Watching his act, it’s clear that he sees himself as a moderate. In fact, he recently reviewed John Avlon’s new book about the moderate tendencies in the US, clearly showing intellectual curiosity in the role of moderates in modern politics. I saw a direct link from this interview to his act this weekend. He seems to have adopted this position that moderates need to step up their game. I say, he’s right. Is it time for a third party of moderates so that the current Democrats can stop being portrayed as extreme liberals when they’re not?

I recently saw Matt Drudge give an interview where he criticized Stewart for publicly denouncing the hosts of Crossfire while on their show. He said he takes Stewart seriously and implied that this was an act of hypocrisy because Stewart executes a similar style of entertainment. Really? I don’t think so at all. I think Stewart is a comedian—albeit a very smart, well-informed, comedian—who calls it like he sees it; not for some broader political gain or for advocacy of any positions on issues, but for an entertaining commentary on the state of things. He’s not a pundit. He doesn’t have a career in politics. He’s never worked in journalism or in policy environments. In this sense, he’s just a guy—a very smart guy—with a loud microphone. It amazes me how this scares people, especially when supporters of both parties are being driven by other ‘regular guys’ like Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh. The right has Limbaugh, the left has Moore, and moderates have Stewart.

Anyway, he was funny. He was very funny. But he was also sending messages. ‘Be reasonable!’ was the theme. How can we argue with that?

Nan

Not Pron

A perfect game for all of us to become addicted to: Not Pron, "the hardest riddle on the internet."

I apologize for all of the lost hours of productivity. Use the comment thread for any desperate calls for help or hints.

I wish mi life was half as exciting as JB´s

Hello 603 Beech Streeters. This is old cousin Juan reporting from southamerica, willing to have, in one year, at least one third of the stories and exciting moments JB has every day of her life.
I can´t promise extremely funny or interesting writting, but I´ll try to find a way to keep you people beging for my posts.
Spelling and grammar are not my strongest points. I´ll make an effort.
I´m glad I was invited.

Juan

Diary of a Young Genius

Okay, really quick: I decided to add something to the sidebar--my diary entries from 1988. Some are pretty funny, others kind of sad. I'm going to do my best to be faithful to the spelling and capitalization, but sometimes it's hard to tell exactly what I was writing. We see some familiar themes come up this year: me wanting a dog, me playing with Ann, me hating/loving mom, dad, nan, nati, and carla. I had so much to think about!

Ghetto fabulous

Well, I think that if we were all sitting around at 603 Beech one of the things we'd definitely be talking about is how Alex and I live in an "up-and-coming" neighborhood. Yes, in case you haven't heard, we have moved to the ghetto. I wouldn't be so quick to call it that if certain key events hadn't occurred in the short one-month span that we've been there. For those of you I haven't kept in the loop (because of my tired old "school" excuse--which expires in two weeks [hurray]), here's the list of qualifications for living in a (superficially) shitty neighborhood (Nan, can we say "shit" on this blog?):

1. I woke up two days ago (8am) to the sound of a very drunk/high woman screaming at FIVE cops to not "fucking touch her" on the stoop out front. After the police took her away, she kindly left her empty 40 oz. beer can and Burger King leftovers on the sidewalk right next to the chicken wings that someone had left a few days before.
2. I came home from walking the dog the other day to find that someone had stolen our only bush right out of the front yard. Dug it right out of the ground. Awesome.
3. Walking on the sidewalk means walking on glass. And walking in the grass means walking in dog turds. Often, walking in the grass also means wading through condoms.
4. The prostitutes on our block haven't been around for a while, but the guys keep coming and honking at whatever woman is walking down the street (someone taught them well to never give up! Their hope is inspirational.). Oftentimes, this is me. Do prostitutes walk dogs?
5. I frequently get asked by older drunk men if they can walk down the street with me--or maybe come see me later on that night. It's flattering, for sure, but if I said yes to everyone then no one would feel special.
6. The backyard of a neighbor's house caught fire a few weeks ago. It was a pretty big fire--personally, I think it could have easily taken the block if it had gone on much longer. Everyone just stood around and watched. Then the fire truck rolled up. No siren no nothing. I think they might have even pushed it there with the gear set in neutral. They were definitely in no hurry.
7. A week or so ago our neighbor beat up the drunk/high woman who was sleeping on his porch. Alex says I'm not allowed to tell this story because I didn't witness it and he did. But I heard it!
8. Almost every dog in our neighborhood is a pit bull, or a more exotic mix of a pit bull and shar pei. Not surprisingly, everyone in our neighborhood is afraid of dogs.

Once we replace the glass-/sawblade-/crack bag-infested dirt in our backyard with actual earth and some grass, we'll have everyone over for a barbeque!!

-JB

Welcome!

In view of the recent Fantastiko meltdown, I’ve decided that we should try something a little different. Welcome to 603 Beech Street. Although it’s not the real Bozzolo home in Oberlin, the blogosphere version is also sure to delight.

Now that we’re scattered throughout the globe (hopefully temporarily), we need a place to have some words fly around in typical Bozzolo fashion—ensnared in fervor, logic, and humor.

Here’s my thought: 603 Beech Streeters—anyone who one might find chatting away at the famed Bozzolo abode—are free to come and go as they please, all with regular author privileges, to post anything from curious reflections on the humdrum of daily life to spanking new thoughts on happenings around the world.

Have you been lured?

I’ll be here, posting as often as I did on Fantastiko when it was in its prime. Feel free to join me or just read along.

Nan